Never To Be Released - Maximum Security (self released)
This has a release date (I know, I know, it's irony innit) of Friday the 13th of April. Sydneysiders take note: This band is NOT the Stukas, and sounds nothing like them.
These fuckers are nasty, greasy, loud, obnoxious and will remind you of the good old days. You will, of course, turn your hearing aids down and, should you be tempted to bop as you once did you'll either do your back in or twist your ankle like a girl in a Tarzan movie. Cue: Nurofen.
Actually, the tone of this CD may as well be Nurofen Blues played like a bastard. It also reminds me a bit of Slayer. Oh, shit, blown my cool.
Look, you may be tempted to file this under "punk rock" or "retro" or some other bullshit. Fight the temptation to pigeonhole. These guys are the real deal, in your face, barely human, violent (older) men who (let's face it) don't like you and never have and probably think you're a regular Guardian reader.
Yes. It's ugly, macho, in your face, fast, nasty, bad-tempered and all the references to gaol are... well. Just look at them. Then look at their producer, Peter Ross. Ugh.
I mean some bands pull that "we're tough" look by being naturally ugly and screwing up their faces (sometimes shaking their fists at the camera while clutching a bimbo and sitting on a rich man's car). This trope is just that, a trope. Maximum Security are what they are, they've got faces like the road from Adelaide to Perth used to look like, all compressed into leathery skin and blood and sinew.
The album? Oh, it's great. I mean, fuck it's just vicious, fun and filled with big fuck-off guitar riffs and chords, football thug chants and suchlike, and a vocalist who's singing whilst being operated on without anaesthetic.
Put on "Never to be Released" while you're driving you'll be running children over in no time, drag-racing the cops or ram-raiding haberdashers for the thrill of it.
Put on "Never to be Released" and you'll find yourself wearing a black biker's jacket and clutching a Schmeisser machine-pistol.
Put on "Never to be Released" and you'll be running stark naked into the street wearing nowt but woad and waving a blunt samurai sword in one hand and a crowbar in the other, a small trickle of white powder from one nose.
Whatever, with "Never to be Released" you'll be on the 6 o'clock news at least three times in one day; numerous offences, violent arrest, violent mass breakout...
Doesn't matter what other crap bands are on the bill - if you see Maximum Security, see them - then walk out. You'll be doing the bar owner a favour, because you'll be so hopped up after Maximum Security you'll want to start smashing stuff.
Pity about all those nice breakable windows all down Marrickville's main drag.
Five bottles, a knuckle sandwich, four slashed tyres and three weeks in the slammer. Not necessarily in that order.
Maxmium Security launches "Never To Be Released" at Marrickville Bowling Club on April 13 with The Johnnys, Four Stooges and Bob Short & The Light Brigade. Tickets here.