Fanboy Records Presents:
The Cellophane Suckers
Doctor X
Nixon Now
The Bazookas
Underground Club Vogelsangerstr.200
Cologne, Germany
Friday, August 18 2000
Firstly, I have to regret my inability to be at the Undergound Club on time to see the support bands on this wonderfully hot evening in Cologne and I believe missing Nixon Now was a big mistake. But I have to say I was being led astray (or leading myself astray) so, by the time I reached the venue it was full house and I couldn't get inside. I had to satisfy myself with what I could hear from the Beer Garden which unfortunately, isn't enough to provide an adequate review here. What I heard was pretty cool...
I'd had the opportunity a few days prior to witness a Cellophane Suckers rehearsal and to say I was impressed would definitely be an understatement...a hot, sweaty rehearsal room and much fine German beer did nothing more than accentuate the atmosphere of good, hard punk rock'n'roll with so much verve, humour and attitude rolled into one powerful package. I couldn't wait for the real thing.
So, we roll up to the Underground club; A great venue (and only one of two real rock'n'roll venues in Cologne, the other being a small bar called the Sonic Ballroom where you can hear some great music being played and drink your fill of Jaegermeister and Beer) to see the beer garden out front is already well packed with punters and both rooms (there are two band rooms, Underground I and Underground II) pretty much filled with hot & sweaty rock fans, their ears already filled with the rockin' sounds of the support acts.
The Undergound is run by Mitch Useless (of Useless Earyripes zine and writer for the Flying Revolverblatt) and he and girlfriend Suzi do a great job of putting bills together here. I noticed posters on the walls for upcoming shows by Bored! and Zen Guerilla to name a couple. My good buddy, the most rockin' guy in Germany, Kalli Biermann also was there with me. Kalli does a radio show called Back To Zero in Germany and features tons of Aussie rock'n'roll on his radio program, along with anything else that rocks with passion. We soon spotted Lee and Inigo from Munster Records in the crowd, as well as Erik Bauer from Middle Class Pig Records (Cretin66, the Hefners, The Masons, Madison Trio etc.), Simon Keeler and his buddies from Cargo Records and Juergen from Turbonegro's label, Bitzcore. As if I wasn't completely sure already, I now knew that this was the place to see some fine rock.
Anyway, let's get to what the point of this is all about....the Cellophane Suckers! Downing the upmpteenth Deutsche Beer for the night, we headed inside to the strains of the C-Suckers' first song and these young German lads had taken control of the room from the first chord. These guys are obviously local favourites in Cologne - and deservedly so. The twin-guitar assault of Mattes and Hauke, cranked up and swaggering boldly around the stage, blasted the crowd with furious powerchords and "tight as all fuck" punk downstroke playing.
The Suckers play their music fast and proud, no time for pussyfooting lacklustre performances; the heat and passion of that one hour on stage is NOT a time to be wasted on playing crap and let me tell you now friends, the Suckers are about 1000 light years and two time/space continuums away from crap. Drummer Cristoph is absolutely furious on the skins, providing a fast and driving rhythm with plentyof 16th beat hi-hat work and going for high speed motherfucken fills that you think are impossible until you actually hear him do it, linked inextricably with pumping hard basslines that growl with a nasty edge from the old Fender bassman rig onstage...
Now, I've fucken forgotten the singer's name (which I'm a little bummed about because he's such a memorable guy, onstage and off.) He reminded me of what a bastard child of Bon Scott and Iggy Pop might be like, with all the charisma, swagger and sneer that one person could possibly muster; a tall man in more ways than one and he digs deep tonight bellowing out a raucous vocal attack that carries all the notes well whilst keeping up an amphetamine performance with more than one foray into the wild audience in the front...and let me tell ya, I couldn't keep myself up the back of this gig. This was not a night for spectator sports; this was a night to get involved, get down and rock yer shit out down the front and this is what the Cellophane Suckers effect is: making you lose those inhibitions, lose the front you keep up in yer daily life and go wild and wilder still and never lose sight that punk rock'n'roll is fucken fun.
It's evident that this is what the Suckers are about fast, furious and fun times and music played with passion and excitement and the smiles on their faces gave it away. They enjoy this shit- and who wouldn't? Ripping through some classic tracks, such as the painfull- titled "Shave My Balls", the title track of their latest seven-inch effort on High Noon Records, "Solution Prostitution" and the anally-fixated "Brown Burnin' Rubber" ( a very homo-erotic cover a la Turbonegro!) the Suckers crank it out with majestic force and sniggering, schoolboy humour. Can you tell at this point that I love this band? Amazingly, the singer lives in Berlin while the rest of the band live in Cologne, making actual rehearsals with the full band quite rare - the one I went to was the only one before the show and he had travelled down from Berlin that afternoon - but you could not have guessed it. They naturally lock into each other like pieces in a puzzle. You can think of the Lazy Cowgirls or the New Bomb Turks if you like, just to make a couple of references but I don't want to take anything away from these guys by comparisons. They can rest assured that they are way up there with anyone around doing this kinda stuff. If you're looking for their stuff, they have one album on Arm Records and half-a-dozen seven-inch vinyl releases on Radio Blast, Fanboy, Saddletramp, NewLifeShark and High Noon Records.
Back to the gig and the crowd is whipped into a frenzy...everyone is hot, sweaty and tired but the music lifts them up for another round of guitar slinging punk. No-one in the room wants the band to leave the stage but all good things must come to an end. Finally, the Suckers finish up leaving all of us awash with Beer, Sweat and Good Feelings inside...
Later, at the Sonic Ballroom, the fun continued with much downing of Jaegermeister, beer and tequila and dancing pants down on the tables to the strains of the Powdermonkeys....Aahhh god, I love it: Great music, great times and a nicer bunch of lads you could never meet.
Well punters, stay tuned for the next installment of reviews from Popkomm in Cologne and the dirty, greasy underbelly of the music scene as we take a look at those wonderful rock'n'roll popsters from Norway, the Yum Yums and a hardcore gig that was such a great surprise, the German outfit The Spermbirds, reformed after around 10 years away and who blew my mind with regards to what I know about Hardcore Punk Rock (or maybe it was the mushrooms some kind punter gave to me before the gig in exchange for Beer!....I'll let you be the judge).Till next time, rock fuckers....
- Captain Crankinhaus
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