Friday, December 15 @ the Tote (Collingwood, Melbourne)
Saturday, December 16 @ The Esplanade (St Kilda, Melbourne)
Despite all the talk in Sydney about Melbourne being staid and boring in comparison to Sydney's rock'n'roll Babylon, they nevertheless have got a pretty good handle on when to schedule a gig down there: 9:30! Arriving at that time in Sydney would generally cost you the first band and sometimes even a chunk of the second one as well, or at least that's always the way it seems to work out for me. Since I was at the Tote way too early, still running on Sydney time, I got myself a beer (which of course involved the usual game of "guess what our standard measures are in this part of the world" before I wimped out and settled for a can of VB - thank Christ cans are the same size in all states) and took a pew in the snug little front bar, since the band room wasn't open for business yet.
Although there was no special announcement that the first band (the aptly named Scourge) was starting, shortly after 9:30 I became aware of a death metal howl that sounded like a large herd of slow and docile beasts were having awful things done to them with power tools. I decided that keeping at least one wall between my ears and their amps would be a smart move. Eventually the slaughter abated and calm descended over the killing fields, so the Barman (for indeed he had made the pilgrimage south as well) and I made our move into the band room.
Second
band up were the Onyas, who I vaguely remember seeing play at the Green Square
a couple of years ago, although I didn't remember them being a trio (for some
reason I see them in my mind's eye as a four piece) so either they've lost a
member since then or else I've lost a few more brain cells than previously suspected...
What I do remember is that they opened that set with a Deniz Tek cover (a more
rocked up "Ships In" if my memory's not playing up even further), so doing a
Deniz Tek support must have been right up their alley. It looks like the band area at the Tote has been created by enclosing half of the original beer garden with a glass (or perspex) wall and then throwing a roof over it. This means that halfway between the raised stage at the back of what is now the band room and what would have been the back patio of the hotel (at the "front" of the band room), two steps descend down into what in prehistoric times would have been the beer garden, but now looks more like a deserted and forsaken wading pool positioned in front of the stage by a builder with a warped sense of humour and a strange outlook on life. As the floor in this area is significantly lower than the rest of the room, it tended to be shunned by the patrons. However, just like Warped at the Celibate Rifles show a couple of weeks ago, guitarist John "Mad" Mack did not allow this space to stand vacant for too long (is this a Melbourne thing?), not only stepping down off the stage into it, but bringing his microphone stand with him and performing the second half of the set from there.
It had taken the Onyas a couple of songs to get warmed up, but then they really started to crank it out and the set culminated with "Mad" Mack stripping his shirt off and giving us the full complement of guitar hero antics, albeit showing a bit more beer gut and bum crack than Van Halen or the Hellacopters. Throughout the Onya's set and the subsequent changeover, the crowd seemed pretty sparse but the first notes of Dr Tek's opening number caused a small stampede from the half of the beer garden which actually still is a beer garden, leading to the amusing sight of everyone trying to shoulder charge though the narrow doorway into the band room at the same time.
Songwise,
the set was drawn from the same albums as his previous flying visit to Sydney
back in March/April: plenty of "Equinox" and a smaller selection from "Outside"
and "Bonne Route", a couple of Birdman covers (the instrumental "Alien Skies"
and "Love Kills"), two from the Visitors' repertoire ("Journey By Sledge" making
a welcome appearance - I can't help wondering whether this has anything to do
with the Rifles covering it on their new album), nothing from "Take It To The
Vertical" but a couple of nice surprises: "Black Tulip" and "Last Cruise of
the Owl" from the Deep Reduction side project. The first song from "Equinox"
("Seven Is", sounding far more ferocious live than on record) was introduced
as being from an album that the audience wouldn't know "because none of you
bought it...", but except from this passing acknowledgement of the apparently
poor sales of the last studio album, no regrets were uttered, no punches were
pulled, no quarter was asked and no mercy shown. However, throughout the second
half of their set, Deniz did keep checking his watch, so obviously there was
a curfew and equally obviously songs were being dropped from the set as they
came closer to it. Shit, nothing does more to tarnish an evening than getting shortchanged on the band you actually paid to see (but I've said my piece on this topic before, so I won't bore you with another sermon on the same subject). Overall it still seemed to be a pretty good set, but there were some problems with the sound: Pip Hoyle's keyboards were generally far too low down in the mix, most of the time I could hardly hear Jim Dickson's backing vocals at all and even the good doctor's vocals did sound a little strained and distant at times. On the other hand, Nik Rieth I could hear just fine - shit he hits those drums hard!
Sound problems aside, I was still mighty pleased with the evening's entertainment and cheerfully wended my way back to the hotel courtesy of what was apparently the last taxi in Melbourne, judging by the way punters on the street were practically throwing themselves under its wheels in an attempt to get it to stop for them.
Saturday night found me at the legendary Esplanade Hotel in St Kilda; far too early once again. The band room, er sorry... the Gershwin Room, didn't open for a good half hour so I got myself a beer (Cooper's green label, a great South Aussie brew that only comes in one size of bottle, exempting me from another round of "well, what fuckin' size do you call it then?") and settled down near the entrance. When I eventually got into the room, I found that it was very rock'n'roll indeed: a floor that you stick to if you stand in the one spot for longer than 10 seconds, elegant decor (including molded ceiling panels) all now looking a little decayed and starting to peel, the bar lit largely by flickering candles and the shadow of a beer can clearly evident inside the only light fixture/imitation chandelier that was working.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. While I was finishing my beer, they opened the band room for business and the first few paying customers straggled in, amongst them Tim Hemensley, bass player for the awesome Powder Monkeys. A very good omen!
The best news of all was that the support act for the evening was to be Rowland S. Howard. Having cottoned onto his excellent "Teenage Snuff Film" too late to catch him when he played Sydney last year, I'd been kicking myself ever since, so this really looked like a bonus. Unfortunately it turned out not to be such a bonus after all. The scheduled start time rolled around... and rolled right on past without much seeming to be happening on stage. The drummer only had half his kit, the bass player didn't have an amp and there was no soundman. We all lounged around and waited and then... nothing much happened. The only activity on stage seemed to be someone helping herself to beers out of the band's rider.
To cut a long story short, Rowland S. and his boys eventually went on 50 minutes late, with part of Nik Rieth's drum kit (not properly secured - the first time the drummer hit one of his cymbals it fell off and rolled behind Rowland's amp!), a bass amp dredged up from somewhere by the Espy's manager, Jim Dickson's speaker cabinet and the Deniz Tek Group's soundman. Towards the end of the first song, their own soundman swanned in, elbowed the DTG's soundman out of the way and began making ad hoc changes to the settings. Since this was surely screwing up the settings for the DTG's set as well, the DTG's soundman was far from pleased and made his displeasure evident... often. For the rest of their set I was therefore distracted by the ongoing, though fairly entertaining, battle of the two soundmen.
Rowland S. did at least play a few songs from the "Teenage Snuff Film" album, but the whole performance was pretty ragged. Having started late, their set was cut short but they still didn't finish until five minutes before the DTG was originally scheduled to go on. Obviously they too then ended up going on late, but only 20 minutes. Still I was annoyed and distressed by the thought of Deniz's set being truncated by time pressures yet again.
I need not have worried, because this night's performance was one straight out of Santa's bag. The set list was largely the same as the night before, but the experience bordered on the transcendent. From go to whoa, all four musicians were in sync and on fire and the sound was close to perfect - not only I could hear all the instruments and vocals, but the high volume, rather than being simply deafening, wrapped itself around me like a glove and then folded me to its bosom (a mixed metaphor I know, but what the fuck. you get the picture). At the end of the set, the audience was almost too stunned to ask for an encore, but managed to pull itself together just enough to do so. After a tense few seconds delay, Pip Hoyle stepped back out onto the stage and was halfway across it before he realised that the door had closed behind him without anyone else coming out. Looking a little nervous he expressed the hope that the band weren't in the process of playing a joke on him... but then there they were and the firestorm continued for another well appreciated brace of songs.
After
the show I managed to insinuate myself backstage, where I found myself jostling
for space with the likes of Charlie Owen (pictured right), Kent Steedman and
former Wet Taxis femme fatale Penny Ikinger. I even got to press the flesh with
the good doctor (both doctors in fact). Not surprisingly everybody seemed pretty
pleased with the show. And then for me it was off into the night and a 30 minute
hunt for a taxi - a very small price to pay for such an outstanding night of
rock action! -John McPharlin
1/2 