DESIRED NON DE PLUME:
Glen Twenty

WHAT'S YOUR DAY JOB?
I answer questionnaires.

YOUR MISSION FOR THE RADIO BIRDMAN TOUR, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS...?
It's a very personal mission Barman. It's simply to conduct myself as a gentleman of dignity and culture, and, daresay, portray myself as a worthy ambassador of this great nation. I'm naturally hopeful my colleagues will aspire similarly, but I dare not attempt to second-guess their respective aims.

WHAT PLACE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO VISITING OR PLAYING AND WHY?
Berlin. They've got this wall there that's at least, what, 60 years old by now.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO BE THE CULINARY HIGHLIGHT/S OF THE OVERSEAS LEGS?
Biting my tongue.

IF YOU HAD TO SWAP PLACES WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN RADIO BIRDMAN, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
Rusty of course - the lucky guy gets to sit at the back and watch my arse for an-hour-and-a-half.

BRIAN JONES WAS KILLED BY...?
John Lennon.

LESTER BANGS - GENIUS OR ARSEHOLE?
Now or when he was alive?

THE TOP THREE SONGS YOU'LL BE PLAYING ON THE TOUR BUS SOUND SYSTEM ARE:
1. Sing Me Spanish Techno - The New Pornographers
2. Further Away - Manic Street Preachers
3. The Blood Is Love - Queens of the Stone Age (more likely on my headphones.)

YOUR FAVOURITE TUNE FROM ZENO BEACH?
We save the tunes for unsuccessful side-projects.

RECOMMEND SOME READING MATERIAL FOR A LONG TOUR:
Ancient Evenings - Norman Mailer
The Place of Dead Roads - William S Burroughs
Heaven and Earth - Nicolas Rothwell
Cicciolina Re-discovers The Zucchini - can't recall the cartoonist's, I mean, author's name.

IF FANS WANT TO BUY YOU A DRINK AFTER A SHOW, WHAT SHOULD IT BE?
Spiked.

ON WHICH ALBUM DID THE BEATLES JUMP THE SHARK? WHAT ABOUT THE STONES? (YOUR RESULTS MAY VARY - IF YOU VIOLENTLY DISAGREE THAT EITHER OF THEM EVER JUMPED THE SHARK, MAKE YOUR POINT KNOWN)
Right after "Exile" for the Stones and after "Abbey Road" for The Fabs. This is going by each's respective high standards of course.

CAN AN AMBIDEXTRIOUS PERSON MAKE AN OFF-HAND REMARK?
As long as they don't put their foot in their mouth or have their head up their arse, I suppose it's possible.

MAKE A CHOICE - THE MUNSTERS OR THE ADDAMS FAMILY?
I've given it all great thought and simply can't decide between the two shows. Now if you'd asked about Beverly Hillbillies Vs Greenacres I could easily haved plumped for the former. No question there.

Not that you asked of course but I've never watched an episode of Gilligan's Island. Not a one. Can anyone top that? Doubt it. After 'The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis' Bob Denver had nothing to say. Same for Alan Hale (the 'Skipper'' apparently) who was previously in Casey Jones. Yeah, you bet I'm angry!

FROM THE 'SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF' DEPARTMENT. CAN YOU NAME ONE SONG (THE ONLY SONG) BY THE SACRED COWS?
No. There are no sacred cows. Oh, you mean 'scared'. It's a typo right? I'll hazard a guess and say "No Milk Today".

IF THERE WAS ONE THING THAT YOU COULD GIVE YOUR MANAGER JOHN NEEDHAM TO KEEP HIM HAPPY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I've seen no indication he is capable of a genuine happiness, though a crate of some decent unwooded Chardonnay might elicit a nod of appreciation.

ADVICE TO THOSE FANS COMING TO SEE RADIO BIRDMAN?
Expect miracles.