Professional Boozers And Love Machines - The Meatbeaters (Pressed Ham)

meatbeatersHey, this kicks ass, these guys are really stoopid and really good. There's a fuckin' excellent balance here; they have TONS of Australian attitude (a la Cosmic Psychos, Onyas), mainly in the lyrics. And, musically, they run right over Motorhead - but in their own car (they're not just copycats).

It's very cool, with song titles like "12 Inches of Love", "Going the Growl", "Wanker", "Never Miss the Bowl", "You Can't Lose Here", you have a fair idea of what to expect.

Meatbeaters also have that unique heaviness that's inherrent in many Aussie punk rock 'n' roll bands. Take "Cunt Of A Band" (C O A B)", for example. It has a Powder Monkeys vibe in the heaviness. Man, just sign these cunts up to the club. - Ashley Thomson

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OK, appearances aren't the be all and end all, but they are a big part of rock 'n' roll, and you just gotta dips yer lid in the direction of the Meatbeaters for getting that part right. Three boofy blokes in nondescript T-shirts and Water Buffalo Lodge headgear on the cover, and the inside pic looks like the Long Bay Jail Glee Club. Artwork shithouse enough to frame. Plus song titles like "Wanker" and "Blind Drunk". You just have to take notice.

In case you were wondering, the music lives up (down?) to expectations. Nine low-brow originals and a fiery Stooges cover ("1970"). Chunky riffage and mildly Lemmyesque vocals, both courtesy of Slammin' Stan, give these nicely under-produced tunes a raw, unpolished presence. Stan can play up a shitstorm.

The Meatbeaters are apparently outgrowths/the afterbirth of the KT-26s and the Iron Sheiks, two hi-octane Adelaide outfits who may be in the past tense these days (and maybe not). If that's not enough of a clue to how they sound, try the Cosmic Psychos with less fuzz bass. It's almost too obvious a point to make that "Never Miss The Bowl" is a fine companion piece to "The Man Who Drinks Too Much", but I'll make it anyway.

The production we mentioned as "unpolished" a para or two back, but let's takle it a step further: If you're a fan of the noise you'll mark it up a notch for scads of guitar leakage. Bassist Kid Ock and drummer Splodge (gotta love Adelaide names - it they sure beat "McPharlin") anchor it nicely with solid, unadorned playing but resist the obvious temptation of driving it too fast or falling into lazy boogie feels. That said, Motorhead would be pretty chuffed with a song like "Going Nowhere".

Sounds like it was recorded in a loungeroom (as it undoubtedly was). Shit, I'll invite them over to play in my loungeroom some day - but first I'll just padlock the fridge and ensure the cat and a roll of duct tape aren't lying around in close proximity of each other, otherwise things could get messy. - The Barman 

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Tags: punk, rock, meatbeaters, professional boozers, and, love machines

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